My first free email - Hotmail. Completed 10 years using it!

As I opened my Hotmail inbox today, a saw a surprise message from Hotmail - Thank you for using Hotmail for last 10 years. One email brought back so many memories.
Though Internet was publicily available for Indian public from mid-1990s, not many options were available for users who couldn't afford to spend hundreds of rupees surfing the internet and then pay money to a web-based email service provider. Hotmail and Yahoo were two pioneers in providing free email services and were very popular amongst Indian users.
I was in Delhi, doing MBA from a second-grade institution (actually it wasn't worth calling it a second grade institution but I want some dignity for my foolishness of wasting 2 years studying something that I haven't applied in my last 10 years of career). My friend, Praveen, was part of an Internet startup that provided B2B services (though many such internet companies had mushroomed at that time, his company still survives). At that point of time, there was hardly anything called a Broadband connection and normal dial up connectivity was damn expensive. Surfing internet at a cafe used to cost something like 100 rupees an hour and people used internet for something like 10-15 mins to check mails. My friend's company also had 2-3 dial-up connections to run the business and during weekends, we (I and my friend) made full use of the "free" service.
It was then that I signed up for my first email account - a Hotmail account! It was damn slow, full of SPAM and opening the inbox took eternity. However, the thrill of "using internet" and being "internet savvy" was on the top of my mind and I was ready to bear the pain of slow internet connection and thousands of SPAM mails to be in touch with nobody (yes, no one wrote to me but I always made it a point to check in case some idiots from far away countries were sending me emails guaranteeing me lots of wealth, good s*x life and what not).
10-12 years have passed since then. I now use a very "high speed" internet connection that allows me to open my Hotmail inbox in a matter of few seconds (or milliseconds, I should say). There are friends (e-groups) who send me messages, though I hardly have any time to read them. I write my blog also (yes, atleast one post a year, though I wish, I could use it like my virtual diary). Technology may have changed but it is hard to forget the thrill of using a primitive Hotmail 10-12 years ago. It wasn't as sophisticated back then, but it surely provided lots of happiness and satisfaction.
Today, as we sit under mountains of data, and every day a new technology comes and vanishes in oblivion, I still feel we were better off with slow internet connection and limited knowledge. Atleast something as silly as dial up internet connection and free email excited us once a week and gave us a reason to connect next weekend.

Ubuntu Linux......Free and Worth Using......

I have been a MS-DOS / Windows user ever since I started using computers (somewhere in late 1980s). Though I used Unix as part of a course in school and college, I never really got hooked to it (it was so boring, text based, can't see anything, can't feel anything).

2 months back, I was just browsing through some websites on Linux OS and came across Ubuntu Linux (Ubuntu.com). I tried downloading it but after 3-4 hours of broadband usage, I realised that I may never be able to download it. Then I located a page that promised "Free Shipping".

I had seen many free CD shipping pages and realised that they are just means for spammers to send even more junk in your inbox and probably sell your physical address to some nasty people.

Anyway, I decided to trust this website and put in my information. After that I forgot about it. One month later, the postman came to my house to hand over "a yellow packet, from some foreign country" (that's how he described it). When I received the package, I was surprised to find that it was Ubuntu Linux CD. Free and delivered to my address in just a month's time.

Receiving CD was one thing and getting started on Linux was another. I wasn't sure if a "technically challeneged person like me" would be able to install and use Linux. Another surprise here - installation was smooth, without asking any silly questions. Though my old system (P4-1.5GHz) took some 20-25 minutes to complete installation (roughly the same time that it takes to install Win2K), what followed later was absolute delight.

The look and feel of Ubuntu Linux, combined with readily available software, easy setup, have made me a real Ubuntu Linux fan. Ubuntu has been on my system for last 1 month and I rarely missed Windows during this period. The open office software that comes with it, allows me to work easily on my MS-Office docs (that I sometimes carry from office to home in my USB drive). USB drives are automatically recognised. Internet Browsing is much faster as compared to the Windows 2000(I couldn't figure out why).

The only times when I missed Windows was when my friends wanted to (Video) chat with me on Yahoo Messenger. As far as I know, so far there is no Linux equivalent of Latest Yahoo Messenger for Windows.

Though the die-hard linux fans say that it is not for "technically challenged" (in other words - people who xcan work only in GUI mode), I believe Linux has evolved into a good GUI based OS that can be used by people who are new to computing. If you are used to Windows, it may take some time to figure out what those strange sounding Application names mean (things like "Evolution" which is mail client, or "Synaptic Package Manager" which is Ubuntu's package manager or something like Windows Update Manager and Add-Remove Applicatiobns combined into one).

I guess Ubuntu is slowly taking over the love that I had for Windows. If they continue to supply free CDs, I guess there are many converts in waiting.

Memories of last year's vacations in Mysore and Coorg

Every few months, I feel like taking a break from regular office routine and go for some nice, cool holidays. I remember my school days (a boarding school in Nainital), when the school organised trips during the 3 month long winter vacations. I enjoyed all those trips to hills of Kumaon, Garhwal and the desert-like beauty of Gujarat (Jamnagar), the ever-busy life in Mumbai (yes, it is difficult to believe that people can actually go to Mumbai to enjoy their vacations).

Last year, after almost 6-7 years, I got two short holidays (1-2 days each). After marriage, I insisted on staying at home rather than go on a honeymoon trip (though I had taken a long leave from office). MY mother passed away in the same year as I got married, and I thought that it would be better to stay home for a few days after marriage (just to be with the rest of the family). My wife always complained that we never had any honeymoon (despite all my efforts to assure her that life with me would be honeymoon forever for her).

So, last year, we took 2 short breaks. A 2 days trip to Mysore (which is about 140 kms from Bangalore). It was a sudden trip, with no planning and we were extremely lucky to find a good hotel at a reasonable price. The first day of our trip was really busy because just 1 hour after checking into the hotel, the hotel manager asked us if we would like to take a half day tour of Mysore. We just hpped into the bus and took the tour. At the end of the day, when we were visiting Brindavan Gardens, we were so tired that we felt like sleeping in the garden. However, we later found out that we were lucky as compared to other people, who were touring the city right from the morning (they were dead tired). It is never a good idea to tour a whole city in one day, half day trips are better. The very next day, we visited Chamundi temple over the Chamundi hills. We were really lucky because we could have the darshan in just half an hour (it takes minimum 3-4 hours on festival days). We also visited the zoo (which is unique because of several Giraffes). We returned to Bangalore the same day evening after a tiring but good experience.

Barely 2 weeks after the Mysore trip, we again got adventurous when we heard about a 4 days continuous holidays. This time, our destination was Coorg or Ooty (we had not decided that untill we reached Mysore). I call it a really adventurous trip because we didn't bother to book hotels in advance, nor did we bother to find out the best way to reach the place. We just started from Bangalore to reach Mysore by afternoon. When we reached Mysore, we got some idea of what laid ahead of us. The place was full of cars and people (just like I had seen in Nainital when I studied there). People warned us that going to Coorg and Ooty would be a bad idea because all those people in Mysore (basically Bangaloreans, who love to crowd the tourist places during any holiday season) were heading towards these places. We decided to take a chance and go to Coorg (madikeri).

When we reached Mysore bus stand, we found out that only the red "janata" buses were available from Mysore to go to Coorg. These buses are extremely tiresome because they don't have enough cushioning in seats and give you a "earthquaky" feel while travelling. After 4 hours of shaky journey, we reached Coorg (madikeri). The real pleasure of coorg lies not in Madikeri, but while travelling on the way to the small city. There is greenary everywhere and the hill slopes with coffee estates make it really pleasant view. Once we reached Madikeri, we found out that there are no hotels available. The city looked like Mysore that we saw a few hours back - full of cars and people. We were very tired and it was around 7 in the evening. I bribed an autorickshaw driver and asked him to find a hotel for us to spend the night. Fortunately, the autorickshaw driver found a hotel for us.

At 800 rupees a day, the hotel was really a costly one (I mean, the same hotel costs 200 rupees in normal season). It wasn't a decent hotel but we had to spend a night there and we thought let's do it somehow. Next morning, we started sight-seeing. The first place was Abbey falls. It is a few kilometers from Madikeri town and autorickshaw drivers can oblige you for 100 rupees or so. THat was a really beautiful place (with a big waterfall). Once we came back from there, we proceeded towards Madikeri fort. It must have been grand at some point of time but now hosts a small museum and government houses and offices. We decided to use the time till night to visit Kushalnagar (which is on way to Mysore). A few kilometers from Kushalnagar, is the "Golden Temple", which is basically a buddhist monestry. It stands out like a lotus in muddy waters. Very beautiful, very buddhist.

After visiting these places, we returned to our hotel in Madikeri. We took the last bus to Bangalore at around 11 in the night and reached Bangalore at 6 AM in the morning. It was a tiring but adventurous trip. However, it also gave us one valuable lesson - don't go to any tourist destination (especially during holiday season) without advance hotel bookings etc. We somehow managed to enjoy but we could have suffered also.

Can't keep my mouth shut

Every year various magazines and newspaper conduct surveys on best and most customer friendly products and companies. I am one of those who takes these surveys seriously because (I believe) they are conducted with all the seriousness and honesty.

However, I have tried hard to find surveys on worst products and comapnies and have failed to do so. No magazine or newspaper publishes list of worst companies or products for the fear of losing advertising revenues. The worst thing, they don't even publish letters or articles criticizing bad (rogue) companies.

As an informed consumer, it takes a lot of time for me to choose any product or service (call it bad decision-making, but I am like this). However, there are certain products or services that are forced on me because I have no choice (like my salary account, or the electricity provider). It is when these comapnies don't provide the promised service that I feel cheated.

For quite some time, I have thought of different ways to protest against these rogue companies. I could have exercise legal options had it been so easy and cost-effective. I feel happy that there are places where I can protest against bad products and bad companies. Whether they have the required effect or not is questionable, but they do provide an outlet for people to tell others not to fall pray to attractive marketing campaigns.

Two best examples are - CNBC-TV18 online (www.moneycontrol.com) and www.mouthshut.com. Both these sites have forums where you can tell others how a particular company cheated you and what are the pros and cons that one must look into before deciding on any product or company. I had problems with Citibank Credit Cards, Airtel and TVS Motors. I made sure I went to the site and wrote a detailed review. To my surprise, I was not the only person who had problems with these companies, there were hundreds of other people who had faced problems because of these companies and had made their voices heard to a small but potentially useful group of people. Moneycontrol.com site forums are a great place to voice your problems more forcefully. A program called "Uncovered" on CNBC-TV18, takes up these issues and questions the rogue companies.

However, feeling cheated is not the only reason why you should make your voice heard. If you are feeling good about a certain product or company then also you must voice your opinion. It will provide valuable guidance to people. Both mouthshut.com and moneycontrol.com provide you opportunity to do that also.

Whatever you do, just don't keep your mouth shut.

Living up to others' expectations

For the past few years, one of the several things that has bothered me most is - "how to live upto the expectations of those expect from me".

Why I am writing about it is because I feel that "we spend half of our productive years trying to fulfill the expectations of others (parents, siblings, spouse, children, etc.) and the other half in thinking how to fulfill those expectations". Everyone has his/her own set of expectations from the person who they are close to. This, I believe, binds a person into virtual boundries. Beyond those boundries, lie the person's own expectations, which he is afraid to fulfill before he fulfills those of others.

As we grow up, the set of expectations grows. As a toddler, my parents expected me to learn how to walk. As a young, school-going kid, my parents expected me to learn good manners and score well in school. As a college-going youth, my parents expected me to study hard and find a good job. Then, they expected me to marry a good girl of their choice and produce children. When I get married, I will also have to carry the burden of my wife's expectations - a home of "our own", a car, 1-2 children, good clothes, good food, lots of jewellery. At job, the expectations keep growing - perform well, make others perform well, do something extra-ordinary. Meanwhile - parents add their own expectations - take care of us in our old age. The kids come and bring along more expectations. The society expects me to behave like a gentleman. The government expects me to honestly pay taxes.

After being burdened with so many expectations, I think - "do I have any expectations of my own?" All this while I forgot what I wanted from my own life!!!!!!!!! I am living, working, smiling, eating so that I can be alive and well to fulfill others' expectaions.

Sometimes, I am back to real world, thinking that those "others" are my own people, people who love me, so it is natural for them to expect the world from me. But, then that is what holds me back. The ever growing set of expectations of my loved ones makes sure that I don't have dreams of my own, or even if I have dreams, I don't have time or energy to fulfill them. Right from childhood, I have "programmed" to think from others point of view, if I do something then I will please someone (whether I am happy in it or not, nobody bothers to find out).

I have a feeling that people who carry the least burden of expectations are either highly successful or vagabonds. Whether they are successful or not, such people are definitely happy. Happy, because, they get to do what they want to do, not what others want them to do. Most of successful artists become rebels at a very young age and even leave their homes (read "expectations"). Without the burden of others' expectations, they feel free to have their own dreams and chase them (and most of them achieve what they want).

Enough for today. Got to get back to work (my boss has lots of expectations from me and how big my salary grows depends on how well I live up to his expectations).

More on risk-taking ability and human psychology

My last post was about the effect of family and grooming on the risk taking ability of a person. Few days back, I was talking to a lady who (along with her husband) are young and very successful. As I was talking to her, she literally echoed my thoughts about risk taking ability and how it is shaped by the circumstances that a child is put through as he/she is growing. I also re-inforced my view that these circumstances are a very strong mental barrier, and unless they vanish, there are little chances of success.

BTW, various TV channels are showing programs related to child psychology. It is amazing to see that even those little ones can suffer from things like depression, anxiety. I like the programs being shown on Discovery channel (http://discoveryhealth.co.uk/) and Hallmark Channel. I think BBC is producing these programs and they are doing a wonderful job. If my parents had this kind of information 30 years back, I would have been a much better person in my life :-) (BTW, I have a very positive image in the minds of people who know me at work or outside).

One interesting thing that these programs often tell is that parents tend to induce their negative childhood memories in their children.

Another interesting thing about our psychology is "False memory". People often make up false memory on something that they always wanted to do but couldn't do. The channel showed an interesting experiment where they put faces of different people inside a hot-air balloon and asked them if they remember taking a balloon ride. Most of people created a false memory and narrated incidences related to balloon ride (where as they never actually went on a hot air balloon during their childhood).

Risk taking ability depends on family and grooming

Over the last few days, the question that has been on the top of my mind is - "Why am I so risk averse?"

The question came up in my mind after I realised that I am hesitant to take even the smallest risk, even when I know that by taking the risk I am not putting much at stake. Be it a small decision like buying something for as little as Rs.500 or making a tax-saving investment decision, I weigh the pros and cons so much that I miss out on the opportunity.

After thinking over it for quite a few days, I have found the answer to my question, but a solution to my problem still seems far away. I guess, my risk-averse behaviour has been shaped by the uncertainities that I have seen my family facing as I have grown up. There has always been virtual boundries around every decision of my family. Inspite of high debts, we always enjoyed a reasonably good life-style. However, there was always a hint to guilt whenever we tried to stretch and it held us back.

I tried to find out as to what is so special about people who boldly take risks (sometimes even without calculating its potential impact) and manage to succeed also. I realise that either they have suffered too much early in their lives or they have lived a life without any worries. People who have suffered too much early in their lives become immune to new troubles ("A wet man is never afraid of rains" - as someone rightly said). On the other hand, there are people, who have always lived without any major worries (because of their family environment) and they feel a virtual support behind every risky move they make.

Unfortunately, I don't fall into either of the 2 categories mentioned above. I (and my family) have our share of financial problems - enough to bring about discomforting thoughts but never actually brought any discomfort. This is probably the worst thing because it always remains a mental barrier and not a physical/tangible barrier.

I just hope that some day I can break my mental barriers. I know that is the only thing holding me back.